Old People Are Hilarious

I am currently the director of therapy at a nursing home in Texas. I have worked as a speech-language pathologist for over 3 years in the nursing home setting, and I have found during my time there, old people say what they mean and mean what they say. They have no filter. They figure, hell, life is too short to be polite and use social graces. And it's because of them, I decided to start this blog. Those hilarious one liners that make me love my job and look forward to going to work everyday. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I challenge those people--you can. And they can teach you some tricks along the way.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Bitsy

This month, we had a funny little socialite named Bitsy come and stay with us for a few weeks.  She had the air of a debutante with the humor of a dirty old man.  She also loved to talk in a faus Southern accent.  And she was also confused as hell.  Well, one day, she walked out of the therapy room bobbing and weaving with her walker and I happened to be walking behind her. She turned to me and asked, "Honnneey, do I look like I'm drunk?"  I casually replied, "Well, I can't promise that you'd pass a sobriety test if you got pulled over." She thought for a minute and said, "Well, is it the walker or is it me?"  I told that that it definitely wasn't the walker's fault, to which she quickly replied, "Damn,  I was hoping it wasn't me."  She paused and turned, saying, "Honey, if I try to break out of this joint, please don't let me drive."
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