Old People Are Hilarious

I am currently the director of therapy at a nursing home in Texas. I have worked as a speech-language pathologist for over 3 years in the nursing home setting, and I have found during my time there, old people say what they mean and mean what they say. They have no filter. They figure, hell, life is too short to be polite and use social graces. And it's because of them, I decided to start this blog. Those hilarious one liners that make me love my job and look forward to going to work everyday. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I challenge those people--you can. And they can teach you some tricks along the way.

Friday, August 26, 2011


Evelyn is hilarious.  She's 97, has her own teeth, is deaf, and is a tank.  She's indestructible. She falls over and over again and always gets right back up. We've had her on therapy before and she's hit on my male PTA more times than I can count. She always asks him if he'll be her boyfriend. Plus the fact that she speaks German, Spanish and English, sometimes in the same sentence--and that just makes her funnier. Physical therapy has her on caseload right now and on Fridays, we do a little group. Today in group, I asked Evelyn if she knew what one of the therapist's names was, and what was her answer??? "I rode a bull calf once."  I yelled in her ear the question again, and what was her response? "I really did ride a bull calf.  It's harder than hell to ride one of those things." I gave up.

My physical therapist told me today that Evelyn pulled out her boob yesterday in the therapy room. When she pulled it out, she exclaimed, "Oh my goodness, I forgot I had those things.  When the hell did they get so saggy?" When my PT told her that there were men present, she shrugged her shoulders and replied, "It ain't nothing they've never seen before." Then tucked her boob back up under her shirt.

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